SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
