Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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