Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
