I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
