I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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