he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
