my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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