ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
