I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
