Umm I'm too high to move.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
