You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I just found a bag of teeth...
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
