party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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