why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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