booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
