I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
ugly people sure do ruin things
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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