Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
