Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
