problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
