Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
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