Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
