BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
