it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
