drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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