Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

Me too!

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up

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(818): View more from California

Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.

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(518): View more from New York

They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower

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(217): View more from Illinois

Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?

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(650): View more from California

No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...

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(713): View more from Texas

Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.

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