I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
