I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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