I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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