dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
