I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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