i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
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