took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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