dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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