I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We are two peas in an std pod
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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