If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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