From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
