someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
