This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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