How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
