I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
