i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
