His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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