I wannas sexs uuuuu
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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