I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
