At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Randomize
