I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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