Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
