Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
bring money and cleavage
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
