I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
