Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
