She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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